4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
