dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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