I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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