no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
