I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
