Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
