I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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