Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
