I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
