1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
