If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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