So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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