I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
