The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i believe in u and ur pee
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
