Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
