Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
