We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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