So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize