I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
