my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
