i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
