ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
