$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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