i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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