Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
