dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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