And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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