he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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