New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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