me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
