remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
