Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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