Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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