Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize