I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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