The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
