fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Randomize
