love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
