that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize