So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
