sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
