it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
