Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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