So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
