Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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