why do cheetos always look like penises
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
