mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
