this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
