I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
