i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
