why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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