ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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