Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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