A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize