Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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