some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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