I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
