Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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