try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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