I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize