he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
