I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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