Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
